A snowball collects snow as it rolls down a hill and grows bigger and bigger. Waves react to outward forces and grow with powerful momentum. Our mind can analyze the smallest things and draw the largest conclusions. I want to talk about and warn about the power of momentum.
Everyone. EVERYONE has demons and insecurities. It's part of our genetic makeup, our personality, our upbringing. It's what makes us finely attuned to how we see and react to people and the world. Can I share with you one of my demons? My fear of failure. I am 1 of 12 very successful children. When I was preparing to graduate HS, I struggled with the ACT test and was tortured by this demon in a very profound way. Every single one of my elder siblings was accepted into BYU; a very prestigious and competitive university in my church. I took that test 4 times and didn't get a high enough score to be accepted. I failed dismally. My score wasn't even close. I was the one dumb kid in the dozen.
See, I'm already getting ahead of myself. How did I take an instance of a failed test and turn it against me to describe myself as the "dumb kid". Oh how cruel we can be to ourselves. Why do we do that? How do we stop doing that? And if we can't, how can we continue to make progress despite it? I don't have the answers, but I'll share some of my thoughts, and invite you to share yours as well because friends, right now in my life, my demons are yelling loud and clear in my mind. I'm not sitting in a pretty place mentally.
1: Recognize one situation at a time before you try to connect the dots.
Momentum occurs when we can take something and piggy back it to something else and make the force greater. It works positively and negatively. I have hit a lot of speed bumps recently. A LOT. If I look back at the past 6 months I could make a pretty hefty list. Why haven't I quit? Because I have to separate my road blocks into individual events. They suck, but there's nobody calling the universe and notifying everyone and everything to go against me too. They are events, not defining characteristics. I can cry about it and take a break to regroup and come up with another path to take. And that's what I do. Recently, I've been set back because I've had quite a few setbacks happen all at once. It's a bit much for me. I'll let you know when I'm ready to try again.
2: Social Media Lies.
When I have nothing to show for my hard work, I am very vulnerable and IG and FB is a dangerous place for me; being very motivated and driven by success. I love my friends, but I am guilty of comparing. I'm pretty sure all our brains are conditioned to do just that when we start scrolling. When it gets hard, sometimes I delete my apps until I feel better. Searching for love and validation leaves me empty and wanting for more. You know what else? I feel a pressure to be doing more More MORE! To stay hungry, to keep grinding, keep pushing. It's a loud voice. But in all reality, all the media does is sell us an idea. We get clips and reels pushed onto our feed to do just that, FEED. If you're not in a healthy mental space, it's not good for you. No matter what is being fed. You could be being fed a big mac of positivity that's going to give you atherosclerosis! Our minds are already good at building upon a thought and connecting real life situations and outcomes to whatever conclusion we're trying to prove. I'm not good enough, not smart enough, not rich enough, not successful enough, you get the picture. The more we feed the thought through our news feed, the more we solidify the thought patterns in our brain. Can you see how this pattern of behavior can be so paralyzing?
3: Come up with a plan B.
I'm getting used to failing. In fact, I showed up to teach 4 classes this week. I taught one person on Saturday. I'm not complaining. Here's what I did instead. I had a plan B. I know that if I can't be successful in one way, I can be successful in another. How else can you use your time when the world doesn't show up for you in the way you want it to? How can you doctor your failed recipe and make something else out of it? I may not have taught a whole lot of people, but I've created another hour of choreography. Maybe it will grow into something someday. Maybe it won't, but it brought me joy, and in the moment, it redirected my energy so I could spare myself the time I would've spent in my feelings of disappointment and failure.
4: Fall in love with the work.
If you love what you are doing, is the lack of income or recognition a failure? I'd say being able to do what you love is winning. I'm trying to move my way of thinking to thoughts of gratitude. I can do that when I get off the social media and look around at the facts. I think I'll list them. Have you ever counted your blessings? I bet if you asked your friends to help you, they could get you started. I think you'd be surprised at how good you have it. What a nice break from the demons. Maybe we can create momentum in a positive direction. I suppose it's worth a try.
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